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Having sex with a partner is one of the sexiest things you can do in the bedroom… or on the couch… or in the kitchen… But masturbating together can be just as fun.

What is mutual masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is the masturbation between two (or more) people and can be a very intimate experience.

It’s safer sex as it’s super unlikely to give you an STI and if you’re doing it with a female partner, it’s also very unlikely she’ll fall pregnant. But since you know yourself best, you’re the best person to give yourself a hand, which means a great orgasm for the both of you.

Initiating mutual masturbation

If you’ve never masturbated in front of your partner before, understandably, it can be a little intimidating as it’s something usually done in private.

You can suggest mutual masturbation to your partner by sending them a sexy text or engaging in phone sex, which is practically mutual masturbation at a distance. You could make it into a game where you see how long you and your partner can last without touching each other. Or you could just suggest it as something new to try and start with the classic making out and dry humping before your clothes come off.

How to enjoy this sexy act

1. Set the scene

Just like when you have regular sex, sometimes it helps to set the mood by putting on some music and dimming the lights. Mutual masturbation provides the same intimacy but instead of touching each other, you’re feeling up yourselves.

When it comes to your surrounding environment, you want to make sure you’re both in a comfortable space.  Discuss what’ll turn you on – will you do it sitting very close to each other? Maybe you want to stand on opposite sides of the room and get a full body view? Or perhaps you’re both in the bath facing each other. Do you want to watch porn together and do it under the covers?

Talk about the what you think will drive you crazy and start there because you can always switch it up later.

2. Time to Touch

Look into each other’s eyes as you undress and feel your body from your face before slowly moving down to the sexiest parts and playing with yourself.

The beauty of mutual masturbation is you’re in full control. Stroke and rub yourself, massage your testicles, and pinch your nipples how you please. Once you start moving and touching your body, just don’t stop! Maximising where you touch yourself won’t only feel fantastic for you but will make visual sure to get your partner wet.

If you want to make things more… mutual, kiss your partner, touch their face or hair, or place your hand on their chest or thigh and if they want, lend a hand or a finger or two.

Tip: Never underestimate the power of eye contact. It helps to stay focused and connected.

3. Add sex toys

If you want to add a little something extra to your mutual masturbation experience, try using one of your Fleshlight toys. An Ice or Quickshot would be perfect. It adds an extra stimulus for you, which means you’ll feel extra amazing, while you both still get to see the full action! You can switch between your hand and the toy using on yourself or getting your partner to use it on you.

Vibrators aren’t just for the pleasure of women – you can use them and have just as good a time as they provide a sensation you or your partner are unable to naturally create. Using a toy like a vibrator can mean less work for you, which means you can better focus your energy attention on you and your partner.

4. Let go

Let go of the expectation that you need to reach orgasm. If it happens, it happens. Not holding onto the expectation means less pressure, which means you’ll enjoy the experience more and might in turn increase the likelihood of reaching the big O.

But for when you’re close, let your partner know and though it’s unlikely, you might be able to do so together. When you climax, it might feel natural to want to close your eyes but try to make strong eye contact with your partner once you reopen them. If they haven’t come, continue watching with your entire body on display, say sexy things like exactly what you want to do to them or complimenting them and how they make you feel. If your partner wants to have regular sex, just go for it!

It’s all about the journey and not the destination.